When you live in a city that welcomes some 5 million tourists each year, you’re bound to be asked for recommendations. What to do, what to eat, where to stay – these are common questions put to anyone who is seen as a resident, and therefore, an expert, of a particular place.
I have a hard time with these questions. (For starters, we don’t generally stay in hotels in Amsterdam, which makes supplying a hotel recommendation near-impossible.) But practical considerations aside, recommendations – particularly for travel – are pretty personal. When I share a favorite quiet corner of Amsterdam, or tell you where to find a great selection of Dutch beer, or lead you to a museum that’s not the Van Gogh, I’m telling you something about me. About what I enjoy, and what I value. Which may not be the same things that you enjoy or value.
Sometimes I imagine that one day we will have a visitor who will take all of my recommendations. In this fantasy, this person not only has a terrible time but he/she also decides that I’m actually pretty boring, or nerdy, and by the time they leave they will be thinking to themselves, “Hey, why am friends with her anyway? She just sent me on the lamest tour ever of what is supposed to be a city of sin and drugs and excitement (or at least some decent shopping). This is the last time I do anything she recommends.”
Sometimes I stress out about this imaginary visitor. But more often, I think that if anything like this ever happens, it will be the visitor’s own damn fault. After all, isn’t part of the fun of travel doing some research in advance? Figuring out where to go and what to see, yourself? And isn’t another part of the fun in the random exploration? Following a hunch down a narrow street in Orvieto to find the best lunch of your life. Chatting with a glass artist in a small gallery in Eze. Ordering Chinese food in Czech (ok, just pointing at the pictures) in a tiny restaurant in a tourist-free town far from Prague.
This is not to say that I am not a good host, and that I won’t provide some recommendations. My Dutch coworkers often insist that I know more about events, sites, and restaurants in Amsterdam than they do. In truth, we’ve developed a short list of traditional-but-fun (and not too touristy) activities for visitors that are in regular rotation. And we’ve gotten pretty good at mixing up the short list to meet our guests’ interests: art, shopping, history, food.
The best guests are the ones who come with their own short list and an open mind. We had a friend visit last July (hi Peter!) who was a gung-ho independent traveler. He took us to places we hadn’t considered going to, and uncovered hidden local gems that we had overlooked. And truly, all of the friends and family who came to visit last year were great guests: relaxed, curious, interested, and just happy to spend time together.
To be able to explore a beautiful city with people you love – to share those great, random, memorable adventures together – is a gift. One which I’m looking forward to sharing with our 2016 visitors. (Still, 2016 visitors, this does not mean you’re off the hook. Do your homework!)
Others out there: do you like offering recommendations to visitors or planning their activities, or is it a source of stress? Do you still ask for recommendations (like I always do!) from longer-term expats or locals?